YOU ARE NOT SELLING ALBUMS. YOU ARE SAVING YOUR FRIENDS THE TIME OF SIFTING THROUGH ALL OF THE FUCKING EPS YOU PUT OUT EARLIER THIS YEAR JUST SO THEY CAN LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC.
It’s all well and good for all of us to keep shouting, “Make your show an event! Give people a REASON to come!” But maybe your head is so full from trying to make everything else happen that you can’t come up with any ideas.
Here are a few bits and pieces to help get you started.
1. Start simple. Use a landmark event in your band’s history.
A CD release party is an event. You’ve all had one of those. Create more of them by releasing singles and EPs rather than a traditional album. You’ll get four release events over a 12 month period. You introduce the ability to give one EP away free (whilst charging for the others). Then, use the feedback to inform the decisions you make about the songs and their order for your album. Finally, when you do release the album, it’s simply as a serviceto everyone who has already lost three out of the four initial EP releases. Welcome to the New Music Industry:
You are not selling albums. You are saving your friends the time of sifting through all of the fucking EPs you put out earlier this year just so they can listen to your music.
Use other events too: Your last show before SXSW, the first show after returning from Germany, your keyboard player’s last show, the lead singer’s birthday (come watch him fuck up, miss all the high notes, and split his pants).
2. Add a Cause.
The great thing about a cause is it changes the question you’re asking. Instead of, “Do you want to come see my band?” (Answer: No, I don’t), you ask, “Do you want to help starving children in India?” You increase the chances of a better outcome for all concerned. This also gives you a reason to send out a legitimate update to everyone after the event. “Congratulations to all of us! We raised $500.”
Anything to do with firefighters or the police has a triple benefit of the charitable component, increased likelihood of getting out of a speeding ticket (“Officer, we just performed a charity concert for the fraternal order of police”), and (of course) those guys have all the best drugs.
3. Add a competitive element.
Give people another reason to be there besides just seeing your band play. Incorporate a contest for the best outfit, the highest 70s glitter heels, the most Twinkies eaten in the most authentic Vegas period Elvis jumpsuit.
This strategy incentivizes the dress up and theater off-stage. It heightens the energy at the event with the possibility of winning cash and prizes.
4. Apply the ‘get in free if’ model.
Offer the opportunity to “get in free” if a specific action is followed. This can be anything from frivolous crap to a community-based change for the better effort:
- Get in free with… four cans for the food bank
- Get in free if… you wear purple (Prince tie-in)
- Get in free if… you bring an instrument for the local school
- Get in free if… you are a complete idiot (Prince tie in)
In 1970s pre-punk rock England, children of striking miners were allowed in free to concerts upon showing their fathers’ union cards. Solidarity with the masses!
But be careful. In a misguided attempt to inject some risqué, burlesque-ness into a Pigface tour I mistakenly did this (see left). We offered free admission to the first 10 girls dressed like our topless, gun-toting poster girl. It didn’t work. The only two Pigface fans willing to turn up at a show topless with tape on their nipples were two dudes in Los Angeles.
5. Assign a theme to the whole night.
You’ve been to 70s night at the ballpark, right? The White Sox biggest event! Yes, people look ridiculous, but it gives you and your audience something to talk about. The poster for your show no longer says: “[Your band name] Oct 23 @ Metro.” It now says “70s night with [your band name] at Metro.” See the difference? Find something to tie your event together.
It doesn’t stop with decades…
- Fetish Ball
- Tribute Night
- 15 Bands That SUCK (that’s an easy one to put together!)
- Rock Night, Folk Night, Improvisational Jazz and Fish Fry Night (combination double header!)
- Cheap Beer Night
- Mojito Madness Mondays, etc., etc., etc.
6. Rinse repeat, rinse repeat.
Allow your event to grow by hitting the same time each month and use alliteration as a memory prompt: First Friday, Third Thursday, Whatever Wednesday.
7. Be a duck out of water.
Musicians make art, poets rollerblade, TV chefs play Pink Floyd or members of Pink Floyd make omelets with Billy Corgan…After all you can’t make an omelet without smashing pumpkins…
8. Hijack an event (piggyback).
Find a HUGE successful show that you have nothing to do with and… afterparty the fuck out of it! The hardest thing to accomplish these days is getting people off the couch and out the door. With an event hi-jack, someone else has done the heavy lifting for you. People are already out and about (and lubricated). Increase attendance at your unofficial afterparty by inviting the members of the band you are piggybacking on. Even if they don’t show up, your door guy can legitimately say, “Well, they are on the guest list!”
You could even hire a headlining band member to DJ, thus ensuring some legitimacy. You might also be able to wrangle a guest list slot for yourself to the larger event and plaster flyers all over the bathrooms for the aftershow!
Use this strategy to piggyback on sporting events, too. Once again, people are already off their couches.
9. Use the calendar.
Find obscure holidays that are celebrated in other countries for the double whammy of niche market, cross pollination, multiple ethnic group-a-thon. But be careful. The all girl AC/DC topless tribute band might not be appropriate for some religious holidays (unless you subscribe to my ‘do the opposite’ strategy in which case the public outcries and demonstrations outside the venue will be well worth the publicity).
Step One: Pick a month.
The month of January gives us:
- National Blood Donor Month
- National Braille Literacy Month (there’s a t-shirt)
- National Oatmeal Month (featuring Genesis P-Orridge!)
- National Soup Month
OK….I didn’t say all of these ideas were golden, sure-fire winners; I’m just suggesting some avenues to explore!
Step Two: Add a birthday.
A birthday is a great theme to hang a hat on and widen your audience. Johnny Cash’s birthday for instance provides an opportunity for you to step outside of your normal set list and discover something different. Most importantly it gives fans a break from the 12 songs that you’ve been hammering into the ground for the last 18 months.
Step Three: Combine two birthdays.
Jan 8th and 9th are Elvis’s and Richard Nixon’s birthdays respectively. You could have a pill popping, presidential, secretly recorded show
The 26th and 27th bring us Wayne Gretzky and Mozart. This opens up the possibilities of Mozart on ice with fighting or, just cheap beer and a ‘what the puck!’ classical appreciation night with glitch rock, turntable motherfuckers! (And cheap beer!)
10. Combine all ideas, mix well, and then do the opposite.
Don’t do the ordinary…EVER! You can have a “Fuck New Year’s Eve, it’s oatmeal month!”(I just thought of three different t-shirts for that one.) They’re all crap and no one would ever buy one. That’s the point – do it in your head first. (There’s another t-shirt!) There are so many possibilities. Nothing is too dumb to succeed if approached in the right way (see Prince tie in).